No, this is for us.
When God speaks it is always good. When God speaks it is always challenging. When God speaks it is always pushing the status quo. When God speaks it is always love.
God spoke tonight. He spoke clearly and to the point. With ferocity of speech he declared “No, that is for us.” Humility has always been something I felt I have embodied and walked in. Just recently I have realized that this belief has blinded me to what humility actually means. “Confidence looks like arrogance to the insecure” is one of my favorite Bill Johnson quotes and has been since I first heard it all those years ago. It has skewed my view, I have allowed it to take an unintentional form in my life. I mean that it has created in me a justification for not relying upon Christ for yet another part of my being.
Confidence has not been much of a struggle for me. I am very self confident and believe I can truly do that which I put my mind to. But not communicating my confidence, that my friend is hard. It is hard to not tell the world how awesome I am. To boast upon myself in my epicness. My hardship is based upon not attributing my successes to God and His ability to move through me. Over time God has begun to slowly, very slowly move farther and farther away from the place I gain my confidence. I hate it, I hate that I feel I am great outside of God. My dependency for life on God has dwindled to a level I cant even express. Dont let this become you. In reading this back it sounds so depressing. The reality I guess is that it is.
Hear is the punch line. I know what to do. When you think you know what to do you dont. All you can do is nothing. Let go. Give up. Go read Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Go read Romans, Galatians, Ephesians, and Hebrews. Realize that you cannot do it. That you must let go of the wall you are halfway up without a rope.
Let Him catch you. Let Him carry you. Up the mountain, across the desert and through the valley. He is big enough…trust me.
He wants to talk with you. He just wants your attention. He is that nagging girlfriend that just wants you to look at picture they just took. He wants to build something together. He wants to build something for you and give you the credit. He wants to just be your friend, your lover, your brother, your father. He wants all of you. He wants you to be addicted to His presence. The beauty is is that you get to be addicted to Him. You get to spend as much time as you want with the being that created you. You may not get to spend the time you want with your friend or you mom but you can with Him. He is with you always. They are not always there but He is.
He is your doorway to heaven amongst Hell. He is your closet to Narnia in the midst of the burning building. He is your invisible friend that likes to show himself.
I am that I am.
He just wants all of you. To live a life unable to be lived without Him is my point of shot. It is where I want my life to be lived.
“maybe shake a tambourine or you sing harmonies.”